In an instant...

You always know that life can change in an instant...we experienced it this past Monday. 

Kate had fever off and on Monday. It had been as high as 103, so I kept her on regular doses of Tylenol/Ibuprofen. She had played most of the afternoon, but towards bedtime was getting fussier. I gave Kate and Maddie a bath, and realized Kate was getting fever chills. I took her out, and we sat and laughed at Maddie for a bit. We began the regular routine for bedtime bottles, and within seconds I knew something was wrong. Kate started blankly staring and not opening her mouth. I called for Matt and we both knew something wasn't right. There are always kids or families on our street at night, so I walked out with Kate to see if their was a pediatrician on our street. Our neighbor suggested running her up to the clinic because at this point she was just lethargic. Within seconds of starting to get her in the carseat things got worse. Her body stiffened, head turned sideways, and started grunting...Matt and I both knew she was seizing. I ran to the tub to pour cold water over Kate, while Matt called 911. We talked back and forth about what she was doing and monitored her breathing. We walked to the garage to wait on the ambulance, the seizing was getting worse, then came foaming, then vomit. I lost it...Our precious neighbor ran across the street and helped get Kate on her side. I couldn't feel her breathing as well. Our neighbor stepped in, and I remember her saying, "It's very shallow." The 911 operator then asked for them to say breath every time they felt her breathe...I could hear her say breath........breath........breath. Too long between them! It was at that point I thought, "I can't lose my baby right here in the garage." I was begging God for mercy...

The ambulance arrived very quickly! They started working on Kate in the ambulance, and said, "She is coming to." We thought all was improving. During this time, Maddie was HYSTERICAL! Not only did she probably sense something was wrong with Kate, Matt and I had to pass her on to neighbors and then Matt's mom. We made the decision that I would ride in the ambulance. Kate was still seizing during the ride. At one point the EMT began to give her oxygen, and told the driver, "We need to upgrade." The sirens came on...not what you want to hear...

A sweet firefighter carried Kate into the ER. He unfortunately left before I had the chance to thank him. He advocated for Kate once we arrived at the ER, and insisted calmly on them acting quickly. Kate continued to seize for almost 2 hours, they became more spastic, and her breathing was more irregular. She wasn't responding to anything. The ER doctor informed us we were "going to Children's" and they were going to have to intubate her. From then on is a blur...

Matt and I made the difficult decision for him to go with Kate on the helicopter, and I would drive down with Maddie in the morning. I've never been so torn in my life. I knew Maddie needed comfort and stability, yet I couldn't let Kate go. 
Throughout the chaos Matt kept saying, "She's not ours...she's His." As much as I didn't want to hear those words, I knew Kate was His long before we knew her. I knew in those moments that I had no control over the number of her days. I knew that God was/is sovereign, but that doesn't always mean good. Before they took off, I told Matt, "don't let them lose her." But, I was also begging God that I would see her again. 

Matt's dad and I watched as AngelFlight took off. I was elated later that night to receive this from Matt.

No more seizing, no more intubation (She tried to pull it out! Kate is tough!)

Kate spent 2 nights at AR children's hospital for observation and testing. The days and nights were rough. She was VERY upset when awake, groggy from the large amounts of seizure and sedation meds, and probably very sore from seizing for 2 hours. The neurologists finally diagnosed it as a complex febrile seizure. Typically febrile seizure last 5-10 minutes or will stop on their own. Kate's was a little more alarming due to the length of seizing. An EEG showed nothing abnormal and all blood work came back clear. 

When you are in a children's hospital, you are reminded just how blessed you are. Kate was in the PICU for one day. We watched as families showered, heated up food, and practically lived on that floor with their sick children. It puts into perspective our "hard" days are nothing compared to some families. People kept asking how Matt and I were doing. Both of us were running on little sleep and lots of adrenaline. We arrived home yesterday and it was the first time I became emotional. It was this moment that made me cry.

To watch her play in our home brought me to tears. On Monday night I didn't know how long it would be until she was home again...I didn't know if I would bring her home. God is so good...

(I'm going to do a separate post on Maddie. This has been extremely difficult for her also.)

11 Months!

11 months! Seriously?!? Can't believe it! The past months have flown by! I never understood why moms got teary-eyed thinking about their babies turning one...now I get it! :)

What is life like with twins?!?...this:

Kate:
-Weight/length: Maybe around 16-17lbs...still very light!

-8 teeth, and Dr. Bowen felt your molars coming in...ah!
-You are rarely called Kate still...usually Kater, Kate-Kate...and now Tots...(Kater-tot turned into just tots). I'm sorry again...
-Say bye-bye, daddy, "bo" (book), "bu" (Bula-dog), and other twin language jabber
-Clap, wave, and put your hands up when I say "Where's ______?" 
-Cruising some, walking with the walker, and standing alone a bit...no interest in walking while we hold your hand! 
-Love to lay on blankets or pillows...maybe you will cuddle eventually!
-Throwing things is hilarious...balls, toys, unfortunately food too...
-Going to bible study on Tuesdays...you have had a little harder time skipping a nap and being away. Last week you were all smiles!
-You used to eat anything...now you rarely will try anything besides cheese, toast, or peas...if it's too mushy or slimy you will not touch it. Eat little one eat! ;)



Maddie:

-Weight/Length: getting heavy! :) Plus a cute little roll on your legs! 

-8 teeth, molars coming too!
-We are just going to pretend you are saying things...haha...lots of twin jabber and when you really get talking the finger gets moving!
-You like to crawl over to the dog toys, wave your little finger, and jabber as if to repeat back to me "no, Lily's toys." 
-You are a biter...not when you are mad, you just put your face to everything and bite..
-Shoes are your favorite. You put your hands in them and crawl around...then I have to take them away after you start licking them...;)
-A little attached to Dad! :)
-They LOVE you in the nursery! You are a such a mess and love attention!
-Super messy eater! You spread your food everywhere and shovel it into your mouth. 
-Favorite foods: Avocado, banana, toast, puffs, cheese, peas



Sleeping:
-Moving has been the best thing for Kate and Maddie's sleeping...maybe their room really was that loud in Little Rock, or maybe we have hit a consistent time in their development...either way I'm one happy, and more relaxed mom! (Or the lime green and neon pink walls of their new room may be calming! haha...will be changing soon!)
-Still morning and afternoon nap. Afternoon naps have been better, usually 1hr 30 minutes-2hrs. I've loved one on one time if Kate or Maddie wake up before the other. I can actually sneak in/out of their room!
-Down by 7:30 still...waking closer to 7:00...but Maddie decided to have a party at 6:00 two mornings lately! 
-They almost always talk/laugh to each other when we lay them down

Eating:
-4 bottles still of regular formula. Usually 5-7oz. I thought they were starting to drop a feeding earlier, but have picked back up.
-Drink milk and water out of a sippy cup finally! I know I should start switching their bottles to sippy cups, but with as little as they are I want them to take in plenty of ounces! 
-Started to not take purees...then I switch to all finger foods...now SUPER picky about finger foods, and have had to go back to some purees...ugh! Trying not to stress about it and praying they will eat more as we get closer to 1 year!
-First reaction to foods. I gave them hummus the other day...both broke out in a rash on their faces. 



Our next monthly post will be for their birthday celebration! I will not be getting the mom of the year award for your birthday! Lucky to get invites out and have a cake! ;) 

The big move...

Bye Stonewall Road...

Well, it finally happened...we moved back to Fayetteville! This journey has been long and at times it seemed like we were "moving back to Fayetteville" for years. There were many moments where Matt and I thought God was moving us...but oh...he wanted us to wait...and wait...then wait a bit more...but now we are here, trusting fully that this is where we are to be. 

Matt and I met in Fayetteville after college. We have precious memories here and always talked about moving back. BUT then we found ourselves more and more settled in Little Rock. We had a beautiful home, wonderful neighborhood, and friendships that were becoming deeper and closer. As the reality set in that we truly were moving, there were tears...many tears. 

I am excited about the newness...yet scared at the same time. I tend to lean towards being introverted, and already have moments of craving sitting and talking with someone familiar. Matt and I have both prayed deeply for these years ahead and for new, deep friendships. 

Like any move it wasn't easy...the moving truck broke down on the way and didn't get here until 8:00 at night. Matt and I found ourselves at our limits, then add 2 babies, and 2 dogs...it just wasn't simple. Thankfully, we are feeling more and more settled in. Kate and Maddie haven't skipped a beat and thankfully have been sleeping great despite the change of places. Our poor dog Bula has had the hardest time. She was the LAST one I worried about!

 I guess it will just take us ALL a little while for what feels like coming "home" to be "home" again...

Happy 10 Months!

Happy 10 Months!

My favorite age so far! Oh my, they are two fun babies! There are tough moments having twins, but right now I often think "one baby would be kind of boring!" haha Kate and Maddie's interactions are precious to watch. They laugh, talk, play, and sometimes already fight. I'm pretty sure Maddie pushed Kate down out of frustration the other day! ;) They interact with us and it seems everyday they do something new!


Kate:

-Weight: hopefully 16lbs...you still look SO tiny!
-6-9 month clothes more for length. Pajamas that fit you right are hard to find.
-SEVEN teeth! The 8th one is starting to show this week!
-You are on the go...up, down, crawling, starting to cruise and stand on your own some.
-Love your bumpers! I find you lounging on them most of the time I come to get you!
-Your favorite thing to do is crawl, jump into your carseat (they are in the living room to carry in/out), stand up, and rock back-n-forth. 
-Say "bo" for book, "Hi, da-da," and many other babblings...you say mama some, but not to me
-You love to wave...but are often a little delayed! haha You have just started signing "all done"
-You race for the curtains...when I tell you "no," you smile...then crawl away laughing into the curtains...I see much of this in our future! ;)
-Love the Llama Llama series books and "I Love You Through and Through"


Maddie:

-Weight: Hopefully around 16-17lbs
-6-9 month clothing, moved you to size 3 diapers even though they are a little big. Too many size 2 disasters
-Six teeth
-On the go just like Kate...up, down, crawling fast!, cruising a little, and working on standing alone
-As soon as you wake up, you crawl over towards Kate's bed, stand on the bumper, and try to peak over...
-You are funny about stuffed animals...We can't tell if you are afraid or think they are real. We recently pulled out a larger stuffed dolphin...you "talk" to us all about it, crawl away from it, and hesitantly touch it...It is pretty funny to watch!
-Everything is "da-da" or "ga-ga." You say it with such meaning and facial expressions! :) 
-Love to clap and then you say "da" which translated means "Mom, do Patty-Cake." If it don't start Patty-Cake you repeat clap...then "da" until I start! :)
-I have to watch you closely because you try to eat everything...fuzz, dirt, strings, hair...anything that is on the ground or your hand. 
-Your favorite book is called "Baby Ba-Ba." We can just say the title and you smile. You LOVE any books with animals or real pictures of people. 

Sleep:

-Bedtime is between 7:15-7:30...and wake still between 6:30-7:00. At home they laugh or talk when waking early. Lately, whoever wakes first is often squealing or talking loudly towards the other.
-Kate loves her bed...she did NOT sleep well while in Fayetteville for several days. She would also SCREAM every time I laid her down for sleep. The first night we were back I laid her down for the night, she grinned at me, and just laid down! haha
-Two naps still...about 1hr-1 1/2 each. Morning nap is still the best...and on the RARE occasion one baby will take a longer afternoon nap. It's hard to nap longer when your best friend wants to wake you up and talk!


Eating:
-4 bottles/day...still just around 20-25oz/day
-3 solid meals. I can tell in the past few weeks how much their appetite and interest in finger foods has grown!
-Maddie has the hang of a sippy cup, Kate still likes to chew on it more!
-Maddie's favorites: banana, cheese, quinoa, green beans, avocado
-Kate's favorites: cheese, eggs, Dempsey bread, rice noodles, avacado, squash, blueberries
-Matt and I decided to keep Kate and Maddie gluten free until at least 1 year,then we may or may not test it out a bit. With my history and the fact that we eat/shop/cook gluten free at home it makes more sense. 

This was your last monthly picture in Little Rock! :( Headed to NWA next week, and before we know it you both will be turning 1! 

Family Lake Day

Poor Kate had reached her limit! ;(

We headed up to NWA this past weekend for several reasons, but ended up timing it perfectly for a family lake day! It was a gorgeous day, especially for July in Arkansas! 

Could these two look more alike?!?

Maddie Grace and I 

The girls LOVED the boat and have always enjoyed water! 

Maddie taking it all in

Cousin Stuart teaching Kate to drive

We were so thankful for some time away from home, time with family, and a beautiful day outside!

Aunt Emily playing with the girls

Kate LOVES Uncle Scott

Happy 9 Months!!

Happy 9 Months Kate and Maddie!

Kate and Maddie have both developed and changed greatly this past month: growing mobility, curiosity, and individual personalities! They interact with each other more and more! So MANY joys of having twins! They get ALOT of attention wherever we go! It's hilarious/crazy sometimes what people will say or ask! (My favorite lately is..."She must be the nice one"...seriously?!?!) 



Kate:
-Weight:15 lbs. 4oz (almost 5%!!!!!) 
-Length:25 in
-6 teeth (4 top, 2 bottom)

"ba,ba,ba"

-You my dear are FULL of energy! Lots of squealing, babbling, climbing, and crawling
-We hear a lot of "ba ba ba ba" from you! 
-Pulling up on everything and started to figure out "cruising" a little! I could bet on it that you will walk first, and probably before you are 1. You are just way too active to sit around! 
-Sitting up from laying down
-Still doing your funny army crawl on the wood floors, on rugs you usually "real" crawl
-Our early waker...usually start talking between 6:30-6:45...and try to get Maddie to talk to you!
-You love finding shiny things (knobs, shoes, mirrors, etc)...then you talk about them..
-Maddie makes you laugh so hard! 
-Favorite toys: books, balls, medicine droppers (ha), anything that isn't a toy  

Maddie:

-Weight:16lb 1oz (10th%!!!)
-Length:25 1/2 in
-6 teeth (4 top, 2 bottom)
-You love to shake things holding your arms up, and say "ah, ah, ah, ah, ah"
-You are much more sensitive than Kate. You cry more when "hurt" or if Kate takes a toy. You are more of a snuggler too!

She said, "sit down!"

-Pulling up on everything...you are more hesitant though and sometimes are afraid to let go
-Sitting up from laying down
-Do the same funny army crawl as Kate!
-You wake about 6:45...I think you would sleep more if Kate didn't wake you up talking!
-You love getting under things...tables, curtains, chairs, etc
-Dad makes you laugh the hardest! 
-Favorite toys: chewing on pacifiers, stacking cups, anything that shakes, Jumper-roo

Sleeping:
We continue to be thankful that despite teething and viruses they both continue to sleep 11-12 hours at night! We have been trying to figure out bedtime a bit, because both were struggling to stay awake during bottles at 7. For a few days we tried bottles at 6:45, then down about 7:15...but earlier riser Kate was waking about 6:15. So we are back to 7:00 bottles and down about 7:30. This seems to work best for both girls! Maybe one day they will get back to sleeping closer to 12 hrs..instead of 11! ;) When at home they usually wake and just talk to each other before fussing. We start our day at 7. 
Naps...same ole, same ole...good days, and bad days! ;) Morning nap at 9:00 (1hr-1hr 1/2). Afternoon nap is now at 1:30...It's a "good day" if they sleep 1hr 1/2! I've learned to just be content with this! We've tried about everything to get long sleep...they awake happy most days!

Feeding:
GETTING OFF EXTRA CALORIE FORMULA!!!!!!!!!!! (Mom and Dad are happy too because they were using a can a day...$17/day!)
It was good news to hear that the girls' pediatrician was pleased with weight gain over the past 3 months! Their length is what is lagging behind more, and extra calorie formula won't change length much (so odd since Matt and I are tall!). Anyways...We will be switching to regular formula this week (wish all that frozen breastmilk hadn't gone bad now!!). I'm a little nervous about it and the change on their fullness. Hoping that they will begin to take in more volume (25-30oz instead of 20-25oz). 
Both girls are starting to become more and more interested in solids. Kate prefers finger foods...and Maddie would prefer to sit and be fed! haha 
Favorites are cheese, banana, avocado, squash, mango, and pears. 
Getting off Prevacid again too! Yeah!

The 4th and 4 years!

We had a great 4th of July at my parents! Matt and I also celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary! Time has flown by!